


Have I given you despair?

by Miizurichan



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drama, M/M, PTSD hints, Trigger Warnings, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7621909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miizurichan/pseuds/Miizurichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud thought he was over the worst parts, but on a friday that was supposed to be ordinary, it seemed the worst part had just begun again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have I given you despair?

**Author's Note:**

> Likely going to get more parts later, but for now this will do.   
> I've waited so long to write SephCloud..   
> Enjoy!

That Friday had been entirely ordinary. He had gotten up, had breakfast, gone to work, gone out to lunch with Zack, worked some more and now he was on his way home. The movements of the train following the tracks were soothing after a long day. Or maybe the day just felt longer because it was Friday. He wasn’t sure, nor was he sure he cared. 

Getting off at his usual stop, he had stopped briefly to catch a woman who nearly tripped in the stairs. He didn’t know her name, but could vaguely recall having helped her before. The way she thanked him profusely and bowed before running off felt somewhat familiar to him. Perhaps it was déjà vu. Just an illusion of a familiar feeling. 

It wasn’t a big deal, but as he continued to walk home, that ordinary feeling slipped away. 

The icky feeling had spread all the way to the tips of his fingers by the time he had made his way up the stairs to his apartment. Something was off, he could feel it in his bones. Like it was an instinctive feeling. A feeling that made the alarms in his head go off. But, he couldn’t turn away. Couldn’t call Zack or anyone else and make up some silly excuse. No, he would be absolutely fine. It was probably just his head playing tricks on him again, as it had many times before. He had thought he was over the worst, but he supposed he wasn’t after all. 

The moment he stepped through his front door and stepped into the hall, he had to support himself slightly against the wall as he took his shoes off. That was when he knew something was truly wrong. His scar wasn’t supposed to be hurting. Not after all this time. 

With panic slowly spreading through him in waves, he had staggered over to the full length mirror, ripped his shirt off so the buttons popped, and looked at the ugly scar on his torso. The way his heart kept thumping loudly against his ribcage reminded him of the first words he had heard when he had woken up. 

“It’s a miracle you survived, Cloud. It had partially pierced your heart.” 

It? He had remembered thinking, his head heavy and foggy. He couldn’t remember a thing. From the smell, he could tell he was in a hospital. But for what, he did not know. 

When he had asked, after some of the fog had cleared, the nurse had merely shaken her head with a pitying look. He would have yelled after her, as she scurried out of the room, but pain exploded through every inch of his body at the slightest movement. It knocked the wind out of him. 

Cloud gently put his left hand over the throbbing scar and drew a deep breath. ‘Everything is fine. That time is over, he’s not here anymore. He’s locked up.’ He tried to soothe himself, but it didn’t work. He couldn’t block the memories that came. 

The truth of what had happened had hit him like a brick. Zack had stormed in into his room, absolutely enraged. At first, Cloud hadn’t been sure what caused it, but when Zack grabbed his hands and looked at him, he knew it was bad. “He stabbed you, Cloud! That asshole flat out stabbed you in the heart!” Zack looked ready to kill, but Cloud still didn’t get it. 

With his hand still over the scar, Cloud staggered further into the apartment until he found the medicine he kept stored in the far back of the cabinet next to the fridge. Before he could take it, he had stopped to fill a glass of water before looking around and his gaze had landed on the fridge. The next thing he heard was the sound of glass shattering against the floor and water splashing everywhere. 

He felt dizzy, sick to his stomach and horrified all at the same time. He wanted to move, but no matter how hard he screamed as his body, none of his limbs would listen. 

The only thing he could do, was stare at the note on the fridge. The note written in neat handwriting. Two short sentences that both made his heart get stuck in his throat. 

“I’m sorry I stabbed you. I love you.” 

It wasn’t signed, but it didn’t need a signature. The handwriting was signature enough. He didn’t even need to think about it to know who it was. 

Sephiroth. 

Sephiroth had been in his apartment – maybe he was even still here – and left a note on his fridge. 

The next thing Cloud felt was rage. Why hadn’t he heard anything from his police contact person? If Sephiroth was out of prison, why wasn’t he told? Cloud had to grab onto the edge of the table to keep himself on his feet. He had been there, right there in his kitchen. 

Cloud wanted to retch. He wanted to scream, cry and hurl a chair at the fridge. But he didn’t. He was far too weak for that. The closing anxiety made his throat close up. He could barely breathe. He needed to get to the bedroom, that was the only place he could calm down. His own personal bubble was there. The entire world was spinning, yet he let go of the table to make his way toward the door to his bedroom. Step by step, one foot in front of the other until he could grab the handle and push the door open. 

Just as he breathed out, he looked up and felt like he was looking at a nightmare. It felt like ice filled his veins and stopped right at the scar that now felt like it was on fire. 

Right there. Right there on his bed – the bed they had once shared – he sat. He was still there.


End file.
